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Scott's story

Wednesday 1 April 2020

Scott was diagnosed with a brain tumour in September 2016 when his son was only 10 months old and his marriage was already under significant strain.

Finding out that I had a brain tumour took me to a fearful and dark place. Behind closed doors, my marriage was already suffering and the tumour just made all of that so much worse. I felt like I didn’t have a voice and that my feelings and reactions weren’t validated – I needed support when I was so worried and stressed and my wife wasn’t able to provide it or understand what I was going through.

“We did try marriage counselling but that was tricky alongside my brain tumour treatment. So, the counselling was put on hold whilst I was in hospital and in recovery. That did help in the short-term and we reconciled and had our second child. But it didn’t last and we’re now divorced. I think she decided quite early after my diagnosis that it wasn’t going to work for us.

But, I believe that talking things over, finding common ground and the opportunity to be heard in a safe environment can work wonders for relationships. 

By reaching out to loved ones when you’re going through difficult times, the ones you can really rely on, you can develop genuine relationships of all kinds. They may not always know the right things to say when they are talking to you, it can be awkward or uncomfortable. But honesty and knowing that people are there to help, maybe with the helping hand of a professional like the Relate team, can help people to communicate with you in a better way.