Friends and family
A brain tumour diagnosis is a life changing event, not just for the individual themselves, but for the friends and family around them.
Supporting someone who’s recently been diagnosed with a brain tumour can seem daunting. It’s often difficult to know what you can do to help or even what the right things are to say.
It’s easy to feel a bit lost or helpless, but there are things you can do. Remember, sometimes the smallest things make the biggest difference
We’ve put together some ideas, practical tips and advice about supporting your family and friends, using experiences expressed within our community.
A brain tumour can have a huge impact on people’s day-to-day lives and a little practical help can often go a long way.
There are a number of ways that you can help a loved one, but it’s important to talk to them first and find out what would be best for them. Make sure you’re sensitive to their needs and appreciate it can be hard to ask for help sometimes.
Practical support could include:
- Around the house Ask if you can help with any household chores such as washing, ironing, putting away the shopping, mowing the lawn, etc. Consider what they might be struggling with, any tasks that take a lot of energy could be a good place to start.
- Meals – Help by cooking or taking over pre-prepared meals. Save them from having to do this themselves. Make sure you talk to other friends and family members to see what they are helping with. The last thing someone needs is 20 casseroles in the freezer!
- Getting about – Following a brain tumour diagnosis, many people will need to surrender their driving licence. If you can, offer to help by providing lifts when they need it. For example, to and from hospital appointments, trips to see friends or getting to the shops.
- Childcare – This could be picking up children from school, looking after them for an afternoon a week or during hospital appointments.
- Paperwork – Offering to help with forms or making phones calls on their behalf. For example, people with a brain tumour diagnosis are often eligible for certain benefits, but this can sometimes involve lengthy forms or telephone conversations.
Help your loved one cope with their diagnosis
A brain tumour diagnosis can have a huge impact on your loved one’s life. You can help by telling them about BRIAN’s quality-of-life tracker. They can record their feelings alongside their symptoms, and share this with people they trust to better understand their situation.
Learn about brain tumours
A simple way of supporting somebody else, is to learn more about what they’re going through and be better prepared to help them through the changes they may experience.
Our free Brain Tumour Information Pack is great place to start when it comes to learning about brain tumours.
Talk to others in a similar situation
We have Facebook support groups for the friends, relatives and carers of anyone with a brain tumour. These groups provide a safe space for you to share your experiences, ask for advice and seek support from others in a similar position.
Join our community on Facebook
Our closed Facebook group for carers are a great place to connect with other people affected by a brain tumour and share your experiences.
Remember a brain tumour affects everyone
Make sure that you think about those closest to your loved one as well; their partners, parents, siblings, whoever may be their primary carer or immediate source of support.
This diagnosis is going to have a huge impact on them and their lives as well. It is important to not forget that they will also need your support and comfort now more than ever. Everything suggested on this page is just as important and relevant for them as well
Talking about mental health
Clare Jacobson, a specialist clinical psychologist, talks about having important conversations about mental health.
Tips from our community
“You’re allowed to feel upset and annoyed at the situation too – it’s taking its toll on you. If you don’t admit that you need help and allow yourself to have a break, then you’re just going to crumble.”
“It’s important to allow your loved one to confide their fears in you. Whatever my partner wants to talk about, even if I find the topic really difficult, I Iisten. I make sure that I go to all of their appointments and scans and I always remind them that we’re in this together!”
“Don’t be afraid to ask anything during appointments. However silly it might sound to you, every question you have is valid and I’m a firm believer that knowledge is power. When my partner was diagnosed, I threw myself into researching their illness. I read books, contacted specialists and left no stone unturned.”
“Something that has helped me is meeting other people that are going through the same thing. It makes you feel constantly validated knowing that there’s other people worrying about exactly the same things as you are and that there’s people to talk to.”
By joining one of our our Online Support Communities, you can get more tips about living with or beyond a brain tumour diagnosis from people who truly understand what you’re going through.
Here are some resources that you may find helpful. Some of these are external resources and are not in any way supported or linked to The Brain Tumour Charity. We do not recommend, and have not vetted, individual external resources. However, from feedback gathered from those who have been affected by a brain tumour, we have produced the following list of companies who may be able to help:
Box of Hugs
When you have friends or family affected by a brain tumour, we understand it’s often difficult to know how to help. A Box of Hugs can be a lovely way of letting them know you are thinking of them when you can’t be by their side.
These beautiful gift boxes are filled with a variety of hand picked treats and include a card for you to write your own personal message. You can also get 10% off when you quote BRAIN10 at the checkout or follow the link below.
Jointly App – by Carers UK
Jointly is an app created by Carers UK for carers to use to help coordinate and include a wider group of individuals in a care plan for someone. It is an interactive app which includes: a personalised profile about the individual being cared for which includes medication lists, a messaging service to connect with other carers, tasks list that individuals can tick off, a joint calendar and contact information.
What Matters Now
‘What Matters Now’ provides a free personal website for someone whose life has been affected by a serious illness. It aims to simplify communication and help to coordinate support from friends and family. Individual’s websites can include: updates about what is happening with the individual (how they’re feeling, how treatments going, etc.), a guestbook for friends and family to leave messages, upload photos and a ‘lend a hand’ section that lets people know how best they can provide support (e.g. the best type and time of visit, and how to help caregivers e.g. around the house).
Support and Information Services
You can also join our active online community.