Money, brain tumours and relationships
Even in the most open relationship, talking about finances can be uncomfortable and it can quickly become a source of conflict. This can become even more of an issue after a brain tumour diagnosis.
If you’re living with a brain tumour, the reality is that you’re likely to need to reduce your working hours or even give up work completely. Partners may also need to spend less time working if they have extra caring responsibilities.
Whether those are short-term measures during treatment or a permanent result of your diagnosis, couples can often find it harder to make ends meet.
There may also be extra costs that you hadn’t budgeted for, like accessibility equipment, adaptations to your home and travelling to hospital appointments.
The new Relationship Support Service is the most flexible and personal service I've ever experienced. It's tailor made for my needs and the situation of a partner living with someone with a brain tumour.
Brandon's partner experienced low moods following her brain surgery and the couple realised it was becoming difficult to jointly care for their daughter. Conflicts at home seemed compounded by lockdown.
Brandon found life a challenge and said he often felt tearful and was struggling to access support from his network because he felt he didn't want to burden them. That's when we introduced him to our new relationship service which Brandon says has been a great help;
"It has been really supportive. I've felt understood and backed. I've felt the therapist has been really there for me.
"It's relieved some pressure and given me a space to explore my emotions without worrying what the other person thinks or worrying that I need to protect them.
"I've had around half the allocated sessions and its been agreed I can reserve the remaining ones for as and when I need them - I feel this may be soon as my partner is due to have surgery in the next two months.
"It's the most flexible and personal service I've ever experienced, tailor made for my needs and the situation of a partner living with someone with a brain tumour."
Whether you’re currently in a relationship, or hoping to start a new one, our partnership with Relate can help you get the most out of your relationships. If you think talking to someone might help, click the link below to find out more about our new Relationship Support Service.
As a result, it’s easy to get into debt, which can put huge stress on your relationship. Especially when you’re already dealing with the other practical and emotional challenges that follow a brain tumour diagnosis.
You don’t need to go through this alone though. Relate offer a wide range of content to help people experiencing relationship difficulties and we’ve teamed up with them to provide a counselling service for couples and individuals whose relationship has been affected by a brain tumour.
We know that, sadly, some people in our community have seen changes in their loved ones that have led to them being violent or aggressive, although this is rare.
These changes can seem even more worrying in the current situation, but it’s important to remember that if this is something you’re experiencing, your safety is paramount and the current social distancing (or isolation) rules don’t apply if you need to leave your home to escape domestic violence.
If you feel you’re at risk of abuse, remember there’s help and support available, including police response, online support, helplines, refuges and other services.
You are not alone!
This content and our relationship counselling service have been created in partnership with Relate, the leading relationships charity in England and Wales. If you found this information useful, you might also find the following resources by Relate interesting: